*This piece is used as part of CROWD Theater Company's Production "An Invitation to Breathe." It was originally performed in February 2004 at the Producer's Club Theater, New York, New York*
Original Cast: Fishman: Albert Sanches, Jr. Man: Mario Robles. Directed by Terry Wilson.
FISHMAN, a man with gills, gets into an elevator and presses a button. As the doors begin to close, MAN makes a dash for the elevator.
Wait! Hold the door!
It's going down.
I know.
But…
Thanks. In a bit of a rush.
The doors close and the elevator goes down. A few seconds later, water seeps through the crack in the doors into the elevator.
Woah! What's with all the water?
We're going to an underwater floor.
What??
The building added a few floors beneath the ocean to accommodate.
For who?
Us.
Us?
Wait… you're not a… oh.
What am I not?
What I mean is, you don't have gills.
Do I need gills?
Yes.
Do you have gills?
Yes.
Sick.
Excuse me.
So you're a fish man.
To put it crudely, yes.
But you don't look like a fish man.
That's nice of you to say, but I get that all the time. Listen, this elevator's gonna be completely filled soon. I don't know how to say this… you're gonna drown.
What?! But I've got so much to live for!
I tried to tell you not to get on, but you insisted.
Isn't there anything I can do?
I'm going to floor B15. You could try holding your breath.
Man takes in a deep breath.
It'll probably take 6 minutes to get there and back. People get on and off these floors all the time. If it's a heavy day, could be 10 minutes.
Man exhales.
Oh, god I'm dead! Wait, what about mouth to mouth? You have gills, right? Can't you just breathe air into my mouth?
Oh no. I already went through that phase in college. Look, I got a wife and spawnlings. If anybody saw us, I'd be swimming straight to divorce court.
But I'm gonna die! Aren't you concerned?
Look, there's really nothing I can do. It's not like I haven't been in this situation before. Besides, I'm numb to the experience. You have any idea how many people have made the same mistake?
Oh, god, it's up to my neck!
Well, listen, it was nice meeting you. If you manage to survive, look me up and I'll take you to dinner. It's the least I can do for you.
Man takes a deep breath and goes under. The entire elevator is filled.
You're not allergic to lobster, are you?