Characters: COREY, MARTIN, CAMERA OPERATOR, ZUTREEM, WOMAN
A ramshackle public access TV setup.
COREY and MARTIN (teenaged boys) are seated, facing the audience. A CAMERA OPERATOR faces them, operating a video camera on a tripod.
Alright, welcome back to another installment of "The Cloak and Dagger Midnight Hour," on Public Access TV City 55, I'm your host Corey and I'm here with my buddy, the mysterious, uh, Martin.
Hi.
Well, we're gonna get right into it, then. The first topic of the night is out of body experiences. Do they or don't they exist?
(Pause. COREY kicks MARTIN's chair)
Ah, I had one kind of.
Wow, ladies and gentlemen, my mysterious friend, a high-ranking member of the Cloak and Dagger Club is giving us an exclusive right here on live television, can you believe it?!
(PAUSE)
Uh, yes, that's right, I had one.
Unbelievable! Can you please tell our audience more about this supernatural experience?
Well, I was runnin' after the basketball in the schoolyard, and I tripped and I hit my head, and then I was on the ground and I felt weird like I thought I was still runnin' and then I threw up.
Wow, yes, I see. But Martin, did you see yourself at any point?
Well, Bob took a picture, you know, that guy's always got his camera, and--
Yes, but did you SEE yourself while you were on the ground from above, like you were floating over your body?
Well after that it started raining and my mom was driving by the schoolyard and she saw me and--
Did you SEE yourself like you were having an OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE?
Well later I had to take some medicine but--
You don't have to tell the whole story, I appreciate it but we're live here and we have a very sophisticated audience here in the city and they need their info quick and now.
Well, sorry, I was just saying the medicine gave me one of those dreams where you feel yourself moving like normal but you see yourself at the same time--
So you projected yourself into the dream dimension!
Well I just...
Fascinating, fascinating. The dream world is experienced just as really on your brain and nervous system as the waking world, it's no less "real," isn't that right Martin?
Right.
Or should I call you "Dream Master?"
Heh.
(PAUSE)
This really goes quite well into the next topic of our metaphysical meanderings, and to help us in our quest to reveal the universal mysteries, I'd like to now bring out the newest member of the Truth Elite, I met him on the subway and we spoke for over two hours, I knew he possessed the inner spark, here he is, Zutreem!
ZUTREEM walks out and stands behind COREY and MARTIN, both still seated.
Welcome, Zutreem
(looks up, sniffs) C Sharp
(Pause) Heh, that's a great note, folks!
C sharp is the closest note in the Western music scale that corresponds to the frequency that the light fixtures in this room are vibrating at. Light and sound and radio waves and even thought are ultimately just particles vibrating at different frequencies. I have incredible hearing! (Looks up for a moment, mesmerized, then begins to smile and stare at MARTIN)
This is great! So what about the idea that our whole universe is just one atom in, like, a grapefruit in an incomprehensibly larger universe? Pretty heavy stuff, huh? Some weaker-minded people may need to turn off their TVs at this point.
Hi
Hi
Zutreem, are you familiar with my atomic universe theory?
(snaps out of it, addresses COREY. MARTIN begins staring blankly at him) I can sense a wolf has been in this room.
Uh, yes, and that wolf may be part of the universal atom we all live in that is really just an atom in a much larger wolf.
There are no wolves in the macro-universe!
It consists of beings the likes of which no one can imagine!
Heh, yeah.
I want to eat you
MARTIN stares back blankly, shaking his head in agreement
Ladies and gentlemen, Martin has been hypnotized. Oh, woe is me! Who have I let in the studio?
(starts caressing Corey's hair) You play with fire, you get burnt, Mr. Mystery! (pulls out a knife) Welcome to truth school! (CAMERA OPERATOR, nervous, doesn't know whether to help or keep shooting)
Someone out in TV land, call the police!
Boys, stop yelling and come upstairs for dinner!
(Everyone freezes.)
Oh my god! Mom, we're filming!
I don't care, it's getting cold! I hope your friend Zutreem likes pot roast!
(snaps back into weird persona, addresses audience) Lights down!
LIGHTS DOWN
FIN