Are You Serious?

Jared DiDomenico

2003

VOICE OVER

Have you ever witnessed birth?

Lights up. Labor scene

DOCTOR (handing baby to parents)

Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. LaQuinn. It's a boy!

(Smiles and merriment).

Lights down

VOICE OVER

Have you ever seen a clown being born?

DOCTOR

Congratulations, Mr and Mrs. LaQuinn. It's a clown!

(Awkward silence)

V.O.

It's not beautiful.

Mr. LaQuinn

But...we're not clowns!

Mrs LaQuinn

I can't believe this came out of me!

V.O.

Audio of a honk of one of those clown squeeze horns.

(Audio of a honk of one of those clown squeeze horns). Lights down

Lights up on a MAN on side of stage, sitting in chair, rocking back and forth

MAN (to audience)

This is supposed to be deep!