Which McDonaldland Character Are You?

1. Which of these songs do you like second most?

Singing in the Rain
Push It
Battle Hymn of the Republic
Cop Killer

2. Taking aspirin is a sign of:

Virility
Headaches
Spanish Imperialism
Coconut oil will link you to a murder

3. Your height:

Taller than a Penthouse (magazine), shorter than the Empire State Building
Taller than a bicycle, shorter than Richard Simmons (with hair)
Taller than a Porsche, shorter than a grain silo
Shorter than a bulldozer, taller than a Happy Meal

4. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Oatmeal
Mayonnaise
Madonna's breast milk
Vitamins

5. Which organ is the funniest?

Spleen
Liver
Lungs
Pancreas

6. To show your rebellious side you would most likely:

Try to tattoo an elderly relative without them noticing
Point and shoot
Replace your skeleton with peanuts and butter
Be a Christmas tree for Halloween
Talk shit about this question

7. PENNIES :: NICKELS as OPIUM :: ___________

Horseradish
Psychic Hotlines
Ramones and CBGB's T-shirts
Virginity

8. If you woke up after taking a nap in a chair to realize that Sigmund Freud WAS the chair, would you?:

Renounce your possessions and join the military
Vow to make love to 157 foreign-born secretaries before you die
Declare war on tombstones
Let Freud analyze you

9. What is your favorite color of wristband?

Salmon
Magenta
Calypso Sunrise
Electric Merriweather

10. Though not typically found in cupboards, which item would you consider something that COULD be acceptable to put in cupboards in the new century?

Live octopus
Blonde wigs
Lava lamps
Neutering skills

11. Which class are you most qualified to teach?

"A Study of Theodore Roosevelt's Diet"
"Unorthodox Bird Grooming Techniques"
"Advanced Leg Sculpture"
"Rhinoceros Becoming"

12. If you were stranded alone on a desert island what would you rather have with you?

Unlimited water, but an invincible talking parrot in the likeness of Gilbert Gottfried permanently attached to your shoulder.
Dead cows and fire, but the whole island is made of Port-A-Potties
The person of your dreams, always willing and able to have sex, but no clothing, sunblock, shade, mosquito repellant, lubricant, or birth control.
During the day you can speak with and enjoy the company of any figure in history (and change it every day if you wish), but at night you have to sleep next to their physical corpse in a full-sized bed.

Disclaimer: Planet of the Grapes Media has no affiliations with nor does it represent the McDonald's Corporation and its subsidiaries. The survey and characters used are purely for parody.